Returning to happiness after loss or crisis – Recovering

The general idea of happiness – as seen on TV – would be described as an intense emotional state, when one might feel one’s heart is bursting out from so much joy, and everything, absolutely everything is perfect in your life. I have to say, this is a very limited concept of happiness doomed right from the start.

Perceiving happiness as an intense emotional state can only lead to disappointment. Intense emotional states caused by bio-chemical reactions originated by an event are only temporary and bound to disappear very soon. That’s the way chemical reactions are: they are caused, they affect us and then body and mind return to normality. That’s nature.

No wonder so many people believe that happiness is lived only at moments that repeat themselves sometimes.

Out of experience I tell you: you can be happy everyday. And yes, I’ve already written about being happy before here. But what I want to tell this time is that:

Life can be set with flowers and stones along our way, but it is you and only you who decides “how you will be” and “who you will be” during these alternating ups and downs of life.

A light-hearted attitude and a fresh mind set-up towards that which we cannot change is “the” ideal attitude; but I know out of experience: it’s easier said than done. Events are sometimes too strong and our lives change so radically that it is nothing but normal to not be able to see light in those moments.

But once you’re half way into normality, it is your choice to return to your usual happy self or at least try to cheer up and find light; the important thing is not to force yourself to do anything.

In those “exceptional” moments there are not many other ways to react than feeling miserable and crying your soul out. Feeling lost, not being able to talk or move, let alone think is a part of being in shock or living loss and hard times. And like I wrote before, thank God that these extreme emotions, also fuelled by chemical activity in our bodies, also have an end. “This too shall pass”.

When you’re finally able to calm your emotions down a bit, and the state of shock lowers to almost normal levels, you find yourself with the practical things in life and you have to go on; sadly or luckily: there’s no other way. In extreme times I remember not even having a drop of energy to do anything. Having kids is a blessing, you literally “have to” move!

So concentrate on doing only that which is absolutely necessary, one step at a time:

• Errands related with practical stuff or survival: buying food, paying bills, going to work, etc.

• Go out and walk for a while, even if you don’t want to. Fresh air works wonders in a few minutes: it heals. And just being among people in the street, observing how life moves and never stops, is a good way of charging energy.

• Pamper yourself. I cannot stress the importance of this point enough. Hard times also affect one’s self-esteem; it’s very important that you bathe (rub yourself, use aromatic oils – this helps you love yourself) and take care of your looks. Dressing yourself like you would when you feel happy is effective, whether you believe it or not. Happiness is contagious. There’s even a technique that says: “act like if you had or were this want you want to have or be and your mind will accept this as real and will make it manifest in your life“. That’s the power of your mind.

• And in relation with this last statement (happiness is contagious) I’ve found that the “Peter Pan” technique of thinking happy thoughts is very effective. Surround yourself with objects that make you think of funny moments, talk with cheerful people, and watch funny movies.

Concentrating on these small but practical things are the first small steps of recovery. These small private moments where you make small decisions is the start point for bigger decisions.

Once you have got the basics in your life running smoothly it’s time for evaluating the state of your affairs. Knowing where you are is the first step into knowing where you’re headed.

• Face and accept reality with all its implications. Observe the cold facts, if possible, without emotions

• See how these facts affect your new life

• Which are the possibilities you have to go on? What are the resources to go on?

• Find out where/what/how you want to be or what you want to do

• Sort out the necessary steps to move your life in the direction you choose it to be

• After these steps are sorted out then it’s time to start acting. One step at a time, start walking before you start running

• Seeking for professional help can also help you into sorting out your life. The supporting input of a professional counsellor will be certainly positive

You can make a list or run a diary with the ideas and how you advance in your list. In the future you may look back and see all you have achieved and how the process was.

These steps are a very practical way to start being again in control of your life and your emotions. Reality wipes fear and anxiety out. Fear and anxiety come from thinking obsessively about the future with no real information in your hands.

Looking at life in the eyes is a healing process; being active and with a goal in your hands, open your eyes again to the simple joys in life. It might take a long time or it might take only days; but getting back to action is certainly the road to start being again the happy person you’ve always been.

Filed under Happiness | Tags: life-transformation | Comment (0)

15 questions that can bring joy to your life

On this week’s post Life Project I stated that one of the best ways to find out your place in life is getting to know yourself. So many people are unaware of the hidden treasures that lay in their personalities.

Skills, hobbies, routines, sense of humour, ways of thinking and seeing things, etc. can in fact reveal a road of self expression worthwhile exploring, and this discovery is a start that can and may bring back the feeling of joy for life, like you had as a kid.

To consciously do what you do best with joy and maybe even “passion” is a nice goal in life, and it doesn’t matter in which area of your life it is; it may be in the professional area, in the relationship arena, a fulfilling hobby, or a volunteering activity. Important is that you feel you have a place in life, where you give your best and even help or inspire others if possible.

There’s no place for boredom in our lives once we find the things, activities and thoughts that energize us and set our lives into motion. But, please, don’t think that finding the things you’re passionate about means you’re getting a ticket to immediately drop what you’re doing in order to run after your dreams.
The goal here is to motivate your everyday life, and give meaning to otherwise boring or frustrating situations. The goal of this post is to help you find out a direction to go through wisely and intelligently.

Remember, a project has self made and carefully thought steps to follow in order to achieve a goal. One can’t run without first learning how to walk.

Here’s a small list of questions that might open your eyes to a new and intelligent transformation process in your life:

What’s the best attitude towards this questionnaire?
A loose, creative and happy attitude, even funny is the best. Don’t limit the answers and don’t take everything too serious; spontaneity is a good way to find the hidden treasures. Remember you want to find a happy spot in life to develop yourself. After all, we all want to be happy!

Answer the following questions to yourself:

• What moves you emotionally in your everyday life? It can be a hobby, a song, your kids, a painting, dancing, anything!

• Why does it move you? Which values or mental images come up that make you feel good?

• Which activities bring you pleasure and make you forget that time exists?

• What would bring happiness into your life if you could dedicate your life to it? Which activity would make you wake up with a smile on your face everyday?

• Which topic could make you read or talk for hours?

• Ask a good friend, your partner or a family member to tell you what they think you’re passionate about; what have they noticed moves you; what you’re good at; or just plainly what they think you mostly like.

• In which area do you think you’re good at, best at, and better than most? It can be at problem solving, reading between lines, organizing, making people laugh, grilling, etc. Be open and even silly here.

• What can you do that is so easy for you but causes other people to ask for help? What comes naturally to you?

• What makes you unique? What distinguishes you from everybody else?

• Where are you difficult? What can’t you stand?

• Which activity or profession do you think would suit you best?

Now use your imagination here:

• If you died, what would you like to be remembered for?

• What things would you be honoured or celebrated for if you were famous?

• In which area, different from the one you’re now, could you be good at? Be creative.

• If you started a successful business, which would it be?

Once you’re ready with the questions, compare the answers. See which answers are repeated; this is a strong indicator for what you love to do. Which answers feel right in your heart?

Once you discover what the possibilities are for you, make a plan of how you can include these items in your life. Which hobby or occupation is made out of those things that make you happy? If you don’t know of any then invent one up, be creative! The important thing here is to add quality to your life, not stress. To do something you’re passionate about regularly should bring joy to your life.

And if you find that your plan not only makes you happy but that it can actually help others, then your joy will reach sublime heights.

I wish you the very best of times while digging into your soul and finding your place in life: your mission.

Filed under Happiness, Prosperity | Tags: career, intelligence, self-development | Comments (2)

Choose to be Happy: How affirmative prayer programs your mind

I’m actually a very happy person, and it feels really good to recognize it in silence. Everyday, I choose to be happy. But as soon as I write this sentence down, a little bit of my past fears scare me for a second. You see, I was not always this happy person I am today.

How many of you have heard “that’s life”, “some things will never change”, “you never know what can happen”, or “why even bother?” These common phrases keep you expecting the worse. Hearing them enough is also a way of self-programming. Your mind accepts these messages as true and executes them without discerning whether it’s good or bad. This is how the mind works.

If you live and think in fear, then that what you fear will come true.
Choose to live and think with trust and love in life’s wisdom, then a lovely life full of self- trust will manifest.

Self-programming works faster than you can ever imagine. In one week, since “choosing to be happy” and reinforcing this goal through self-programming (also called affirmative prayer), I got the job of my dreams in a great place, working with great people.

On the very day I quit my old job (a very progressing company but a depressing place to work at), my soon-to-be boss called me to ask if I would be interested in working with him. After his call I just sat down speechless: in shock and awe at the power of my self-programming sessions.
It was a very hard decision to quit my job without having anything else in my hands except my trust on the Universal Wisdom. I was just simply happy and grateful towards life.

Starting to consciously pray in an affirmative way will improve your relationships incredibly, and the way you approach life and how you feel is like a sort of small re-birth. And this state of happiness you can renew everyday; you’ll feel blessed.

Being this such a wonderful state to be in, I want to share these practical exercises with you. It is my intention to contage you with happiness.

What, when and where:
Prayers and auto-suggestions work at best right before you doze to sleep and when they’re the very first thought when waking up. Also in those moments of peace and silence, where there’s no chance to be disturbed.
Everyday, twice a day or more, when the conditions allow it, repeat the following text or make your own prayer according to your personal needs, and in a tone you personally use to communicate with the universe.

Be patient and consequent. Repeat this everyday, at least twice a day. Trust the power of the divinity in you and the universe. Choose happiness.

I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. I AM FREE.
The powers of my mind-spirit, in connection with the eternal Wisdom of the Universal Mind, open my inner doors to happiness.
Beauty, Truth and Goodness burst inside of me and fill every cell of my body with genuine joy.
Beauty, Truth and Goodness grow and expand outside of my body filling every single part of my life with blessings.
Everything I touch is beauty, the universe is wonderful
and I AM HAPPY and thankful for this gift

With this exercise you will discover that what one often hears: “happiness is real at moments, and it’s not a constant state to be at” is not at all true. People sometimes describe being happy as being “high”, laughter and joy unlimited.
Experience has taught me that “being happy” is actually a constant state in life, if you choose it to be. This state of happiness is sometimes affected by bad news or events, but you’re core element remains untouched. And as time heals, you always return to be your normal happy self.

It’s wonderful when you ask someone, if they could choose “what to do” or “where to be”, and their answer is:

I choose to be here doing exactly what I’m doing now.

This, my friends, is real freedom!

Filed under Affirmative Prayers, Good News / Faith, Happiness | Tags: self-development, universal-awareness | Comments (3)